Mesmerized by the sound of the ocean in the distance and the shadows of swaying palm trees being cast on the wall in the pre-dawn light, Wendy wipes her tears away.  While sad, and annoyed that she isn’t asleep, she can’t help but sink into the beauty of this moment.

Sniffling, she holds the crisp white sheet closer, hoping to feel cozier, protected even, by the realities of her life. Instead, she continues to ruminate over her actions and words from the day before.

• “Wendy, why are you so bad at washing the floor? We can’t count on you for anything. ” 
• “Wendy, no you can’t drive. You’re not good enough. We don’t trust you.” 
• “Wendy, don’t worry, you don’t need to stay. We’ll have a better time without you anyways.”

If other people actually said these things to her we would all be incensed. But, the fact that this is what she read in their actions, and is sure is true, is something a lot of us can relate to. 

Here’s the thing, Wendy is likable. She’s kind-hearted, sweet, good at a lot of things, and well-intentioned. People love her for this. But that’s not enough for her. Wendy wants people to see her as a capable adult, to be trusted, and to feel like she has things in common with others. 

Instead, she feels like an outsider, a child even, in the body of an adult. 

People always tell her that being kind is the most important quality. But even if they believe it, what about society is a reflection of this?

Wendy, has often been told that she is “too kind”. But, she has never heard of anyone being called “too capable”, “too trustworthy”, or “too relatable”?

So, yes, kindness might be valued but without other, more prized, qualities it does little to help one navigate their way through this world.

To be fair, Wendy used to get far on those qualities. But, as she grew older, expectations started to change. As she watched her friends grow and mature, her carelessness and flightiness weren’t seen as charming quicks anymore.

This is a reality that many people, especially those with ADHD, face—and it’s something I can relate to all too well.

So, if you can relate to Wendy too, give yourself a break. It can be hard to trust or believe in yourself when it doesn’t feel like anyone else does.  It is also a slow slog changing those perceptions given how inconsistent we are.

But that doesn’t mean that Wendy, you, or I, should give up. In fact, I think we still have a little to learn from Wendy.

As she lies in bed, listening to her husband’s rhythmic breathing something dawns on her. She wonders if maybe it’s the lack of trust in herself that is her biggest issue.  Others aren’t perfect either and she still trusts and respects them.

So, lying there, with the shadows dancing on the walls and listening to the gentle sound of the swaying palm trees, she makes a quiet resolution with herself. She decides that she is going to focus on her gifts and successes, not just her flaws.

She also decides just because she might not clean the dishes after dinner doesn’t erase the fact that she cooked dinner. 

Or just because she has to wash the floor twice to get it right doesn’t mean she’s hopeless. If anything, doing it twice makes her perseverant and dedicated.

No one is good at everything, all the time and if people can’t trust her just because she has to work longer and harder to get it right, then Wendy decides that they’re the one’s with the problem.

So, as Wendy sits there, the first light of dawn illuminating her tear-stained face, she makes a quiet resolution. Not to change who she is, but to continue being her authentic self in a world that might not always understand or appreciate it.

And maybe, just maybe, that’s enough.

Summary

This is a blog post about Wendy, a character with ADHD, to illustrate the challenges faced by individuals who feel marginalized due to their neurodiversity, but I think it’s something anyone can relate to. The story captures the essence of internal struggle, societal expectations, and the desire to be seen beyond one’s limitations.